Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween to everyone!
An update on Daddy and Dzia Dzia.
They are getting tired of being there. You know how hard it is to live out of a suitcase, and away from family.
But tomorrow is gotcha day! Her passport came Friday afternoon, so tomorrow they leave at 7:30 to go down and get her out of the orphanage. I told Ray that once he gets her out, time will fly. He'll have her to take care of, and her embassy stuff to do. So before he knows it, they'll be flying home.
Us on the other hand, time still goes dreadfully slow! Again, I know that down the road we'll forget about how hard this has been, but right now, when I can almost feel her in my arms if I think really hard, its hard to stay sane!!
I will let everyone know here and on facebook about the day and time they come home. I know a lot of people want to come to the airport, and how great would it be to give her a huge homecoming! Plan on Thursday, unless some other delay comes up. I'll let you know the time!
This time tomorrow, we should be skyping with daddy and baby!

The last auction

For all of those that won in the last auction, right before we left the country, if you've paid and I didn't get a chance to send the items out, I'm doing that right now. I'm sorry for the people that had halloween bows in their item. Its been so crazy I haven't had a chance to get organized. There's only a few that haven't paid, if you still want the items, leave me a comment and I'll put up a new chipin to pay. Also a couple of people recently asked about purchasing bows. I'm also getting around to answering those emails, and pulling my bow stuff out of storage so I can make some more. Please be patient with me!

The bummer post

They say that adoption is not for the faint of heart. Especially international adoption. Much more paperwork, money and headaches involved in international adoption. We were just joking last night that when you are in the process of adopting, everything will break in your house or car. We did have our fair share of that, having car repairs, and to replace our garbage disposal and dishwasher. We are really super strapped right now. We had to pay for a second set of airfare that we weren't expecting. It cost me 3 times as much to fly my sister home than it did to fly her here. Ray didn't get a paycheck last week, and won't get one again until he goes back to work. He should bring a lot of money home with him, he took way more than he needs. We would rather be safe than sorry, when he's so far away. But it doesn't help me at home now!
I always said I saw myself doing this again in a couple of years. I would love to add one more girl, try and even it out in my house a little more. But you know that going overseas made me realize that I can't leave Jax like that again. They say, oh your kids will be fine, and yes, my other kids were fine. But Jax is not fine, and I can't take that risk again. My facilitators were joking that if I do this again, I have to do married adopting single, which means only one of us has to travel.
I also know that when she is home I will forget all about this part. All this stuff people say, I do know is true, but it doesn't make it easier right now. I still have my whiny days, like today!
Arina's region doesn't offer the red passport anymore. I know that soon no region will, when the supply runs out, no one will be able to get one. But it still sucks right now because many people do get them. These red passports you get the same day, or the next day. These new passports, have to go through Kiev, and then back to her region. The soonest they think they will get the passport is Friday. Which means the soonest daddy will be able to leave is next Wednesday!
This really sucks, because I've had a long couple of days at home.
Now I'll freely admit that I would never survive as a single mother, never! I depend to much on my hubby. Yesterday we woke up to two inches of snow on the ground!
Seriously, snow!
I know, it stinks. Its way to early for snow. It all melted by the afternoon, but that brought on a whole new problem. It was a huge storm. Lots of rain before the snow started. The wind was blowing so hard, that I thought for sure I would wake up to a blown over fence, since my hubby wasn't home to fix it. The fence was fine, but everything was soaked. It melted so fast, that it filled the window well in the boys room, and was leaking water into their bedroom.
At least I thought enough to remember that Ray had a shop vac, that would soak up water. So I sat outside for an hour, vacuuming water out of their window well, so it would stop leaking into their bedroom!
Daddy will miss Halloween, and also Carter's birthday, which is the day after Halloween. Again, I know these are the sacrifices that we agreed to make when we committed to her, but it also adds to a bad day.
Last but not least, its snowing again right now, so we will wake up to a not so pleasant surprise. Yuck!!
I want her home so bad, that every extra day is seriously making me crazy. It seems like its been forever! Its been a year November that we lost that first baby girl that we wanted. And its been 12 years that I've wanted a girl. These last few days are taking months in my mind!


Tomorrow will be a better day, and my pitty party will be long forgotten. Thank goodness!

Back in Ukraine!

Daddy and Dzia Dzia (grandpa) made it safely to Ukraine last night. Ray says his dad is in heaven! His family is from Poland, Dzia Dzia is polish for grandfather, and he loves being in a country so close to his. I guess the driver spoke some Polish so they talked a little to each other. Today they didn't do much, as the birth certificate place is closed on Monday. So they did some site seeing, I guess they walked a LONG way, talked to some teenagers, one was a hip hop dancer that wants to move to the states to persue his dancing career. They exchanged emails and facebook info!
Tomorrow bright and early at 5:30, they will head down to Arina's region. Get the court decree, her birth certificate, apply for her passport, and I believe get her busted out then! Wahoo, I can't believe it.
Just think, she has no idea that this is her last night sleeping in a crib alone, with no family. Tomorrow she will have two men wrapped around her little finger!
Carter has been asking me the cutest, 7 year old questions.
The first one he asks a lot is, if she is crying in her bed, can I go in and get her out?
And the other is, can I get her dressed by myself sometimes?
Too cute!!

Daddy's coming!

Grandpa's passport came today! Its a good thing because I already booked their flight for Saturday, and Ray was going to leave whether grandpa was ready or not. Today the 10 wait is over, and we want our baby girl home.
They will fly out Saturday, and hopefully home that following weekend. We hope they are home by halloween, but I'm not so sure. I was thinking halloween was two weeks away, so I bought her and Jax the cutest Mickey and Minnie costumes, and we probably won't even get to use hers. If all goes smooth, they should be able to fly home Friday, right now their flight is scheduled for Sunday (Saturday was booked)
I'm trying to not be bummed that I won't be taking her and Jax to the boys school in their matching costumes, I'm just trying to think that in about a week and a half, I'll have her in my arms for good, and I can dress her up all I want.

(oh and by the way, you'll die when you see the Christmas outfits I bought for her and Jax! Now I just have to find the big boys something to match!)

(oh, oh, for those who mentioned from the videos in the previous post, Arina is OBSESSED with her hands! Its true, that is her favorite toy. She puts them in front of her face and moves her fingers. Thats probably the only real toy she's had in the last year)

Videos of our baby girl!

I finally got around to downloading these videos.
Still praying grandpa's passport comes by Tuesday so they can leave Wednesday to bring her home!

Kisses in the wind

KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)


I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

Home sweet home!

We are home, after a long 24 hours of flying, having our lugguage not make it on our flight from Germany to Chicago, but we are home! Auntie Boo brought Jax to the airport to greet us, how great that was to see his little face as soon as we got off the plane!
Being home if bittersweet, I hate that Arina is ours, but she is now thousands of miles away. Ray is really hating it, he's thinking now he wished he would have stayed for the ten day wait, because he hates that we left her there. Daddy and grandpa will hopefully fly out next Thursday to bring her home, it all depends on how fast grandpa's passport comes.
Our last day with her, she was still in the sick unit, but playful as ever. They don't keep her as bundled in there, because she had that fever on Sunday. Its nice to be able to see a little more of her. I pulled her tights off because I was dying to sneak a peak at those piggies!

A lot of our pictures have this face, she doesn't like the flash on the camera, and it flashes a couple of times so by the time the picture is taken, she looks like this!


Our tiny couch that is our play area while she is in the sick unit.

Daddy is so worried that she is going to wonder where we went. Every day for the last week and a half, at 1:00 we would be there. I just hope she is young enough that she'll just forget!

Soon baby girl, daddy will rescue you and bring you home to us!

Introductions!

Sorry, I'm at the airport and don't have a picture to post.

Introducing to our family...Arina Marie Rugg!

Sitting in an airport all night until our 5am flight, wish us luck!

My poor baby is sick!

These pics are from yesterday. I call this her boy outfit! With no bows in her hair, in this she really does look like a boy! That day daddy showed her how he wrestles with her brothers at home. Kind of give her some lessons on how they like to play! She was all for it!

Our sweet baby is sick today! When we got there they took us to a whole different part of the orphanage. They said she had a fever. We were only allowed to stay for a half hour. A half hour of cuddling my baby that I could tell didn't feel good. My nurse/mommy feelers were out, and she doesn't sound junky, and her breathing was ok, so hopefully its nothing big. I kind of feel like the finger is pointing at us as who got her sick. Unfortuntely, it may be true. Although we are not sick, she has never stepped foot out of the orphanage. Her little body is not used to the little, everyday bugs we all are exposed too. I think the first few months of having her home might be one sicky after another. My poor baby!

Court is scheduled for Monday,and if you don't already know it, I can say her real name then. Then the next day we are headed home!

Pictures tomorrow, I promise!

We got to our hotel. Its right on the river which will be nice because its something we haven't been able to see here because its just too dang cold to walk around!
I'm still hoping for court Monday, I know our facilitator was running around today with our interpol, so we should be good to go!

Thanks to nasty people, I have now taken anonymous comments off my blog, and have them moderated. For those anonymous commenters that are nice, I'm sorry, some people have to ruin it for everyone. This is the most I can do without making the blog private, which I don't want to do.
I post most comments, even if they are nasty, but when you start talking about my children, that is going to far, and it will be deleted everytime. I know its the same person because I can tell in the way they comment. Go somewhere else, we don't need you here!

Who cares!

You know, these nasty comments don't really bother me that much. I chose to leave my blogs open, and I chose to be brutally honest, so I get the know-it-all comments a lot! 

I would love for these people to fly over here for a few weeks, and then open their mouths and make a comment again. Its not like we are in Paris, or London, where people speak English and there are a lot of Americans there.  I have seen two American missionaries here in her region, and that is it! Nobody else speaks English, which makes everything much more difficult.

And for some clarifications for the judger's who speak when they don't know the process... we are not leaving her here and flying home for the weekend. First of all, I'm not going to do a full day of flights, just to be home for a few days and come back. Second, and again brutally honest, I don't know if I could come back after going home! We were hoping to get our court date Friday, so that we could leave Saturday to come home. And the reason we are leaving her here is not us, its the system. They have a 10 day waiting period after court, which MOST families fly home during. So we fly home for the 10 days, and then Ray and his dad are going back to pick her up, and I'm staying home with the boys. We hate to leave her here, but we have no other choice, and I know she is well taken care of at her orphanage. 

Yes, I will be going home to my comfy house, and so will she soon. We are fortunate Americans, and we will definitely appreciate what we have a lot more when we get home. So you can't tell me that you wouldn't want to go back to your comfy home either! Because I know that would be a flat out lie!

I'm not depressed, because really depression is something long lasting, I'm homesick. And it is hard sitting in a tiny room, with no toys, and play with a baby for two hours. We just want her home to play with. We are trying to teach her to laugh, she is very stoic. She is not used to be tickled, or playing paddycake. She's just never done those things. Just wait until her brothers get a hold of her, she'll learn real quick! She is always falling asleep on us, again, not used to being cuddled. But we can't let her sleep, so we are constantly trying to keep her awake. Man, its difficult sometimes!

Interpol is in, but it still needs to go to the SDA. So we are here another weekend, with court (tenativelly) scheduled for Monday. I think we are going to go to the hotel tomorrow for the weekend. Just because they have bowling, and pool, so we can keep ourselves busy while we wait. A getaway within a getaway! (Although I wouldn't call this whole trip a getaway!)

Groundhogs day!

(this picture is supposed to be with the bow pictures, but a lot of the stuff on this computer is in Russian and I can't figure out how to move it!)

Everyday is the same. Sleep late, because we stay up late talking to family, and its not like we have somewhere to be! Go see the baby from 1-3. Although I love seeing her, its getting harder to entertain a baby for two hours. I'm tired of the visits, I just want to get this done so we can go home. Its much colder in her region than in Kiev. We think its because its right on the river, at the largest part. You can't even see across, it looks like the ocean. We each only have one sweatshirt. We may give in and buy an expensive one here. Thats all we've been able to find so far.

Interpol still hasn't come in. So still no court. We are considering going to a hotel because the apartment is freezing! And I think I may just be more comfortable there. We can use our own computer, which means we can skype again with the boys. We haven't been able to skype since we've been in her region. I really, REALLY, want to go home this weekend, I don't want another weekend here. So please, please pray that interpol comes in tomorrow. It leaves us wondering why they send families to the country before all the paperwork is finished! 

Its hard to explain to you my emotions right now. I don't want to leave my beautiful girl, but emotions thinking about home just take over my heart. I feel like I've abandoned my boys, and feel like I've taken risks when I have children at home. I don't know why I'm feeling this, but this routine everyday is literally making me crazy. My appetite is gone, and I just want to go home. People keep telling me I'm the strongest person they know, and that I can do this. But I'm not so sure I feel the same. I crack a little more each passing day with no court. 

Anyway, here's some pictures finally. I gave in and downloaded then on to this computer. I'll just have to leave them a note to delete all of our pictures when we leave. One day it was actually nice enough to go outside for a bit. So here's some of her orphanage.

Trying out our bows and beanies from home!

We call this the cabbage patch face!

Time is ticking by

Sorry, no new pictures today. We are staying in an apartment where we have to use their computer, not our laptop, so I'm downloading all my pictures on somebody elses computer. Some people in Ukraine will rent out their apartments for adoptive families for extra money. So we basically kicked these people out of their home for a few days. I tried deleting my pictures off that I have taken so far, but they keep coming back. The majority of stuff on this computer is still in Russian so reading it is impossible. 

We had our third visit with our baby girl this morning. Again she is bundled so much that she can barely move. Her clothing today: A long-sleeved sleeper jammy, thick tights over that, the thick, pink pants and top over that, and socks over her feet. 3 layers, and that is indoor clothing! She is still very quiet, but today she was extremely cuddly. I think she is realizing that we cuddle with her and she is loving the attention. It breaks my heart to leave her for 10 days. I don't want her to think these people that came and loved on her just up and left, but once she's home for a while she won't even remember that. 

And I'm sorry that I never said what happened with Jax. Last Thursday, I believe, he was making strange noises from his trach. When at Auntie Boo's he did it again, but it got louder and louder. Then he acted like he couldn't get any air and started thrashing around. She tried suctioning him, but it got worse and he turned blue and limp. Somewhere during all this her son called 911. They used saline and was able to get him breathing again. They took him to the hospital but he was fine and came home that night. They were saying it was a plug, which is just weird to me because I've never experienced that with him before. The next day she took him to my ped, where he did it again but not as severe. She sent him straight up to the ENT to see if there was scar tissue in his trach. That all looked fine but she admitted him overnight to make sure he was ok.  He is home now and doing fine, but it still just makes me want to go home and never leave my boys again. 

I must be such a pansie! The boys are fine at home. When I talk to them on the phone, none of them cry or say they miss me, which is just fine with me because it helps make being gone a lot easier. Me and Ray definitely are having a much harder time then they are. That is why we decided to come home for the 10 day wait. We really don't have the money to fly again, but we'll have to dig it from somewhere because I need to come home. Yeah, Sunday is ending, only 2 more days until court, then we go back to Kiev for one night. Then we have to be at the airport at like 2:30 in the morning Thursday to fly home. I can't wait to see my boys, go to movies, and our favorite places to eat. Is so cold here right now, that we can't really explore because we freeze. We didn't bring near enough warm stuff. It was 80 in Utah when we left, and the other day they said it was 80. I can't wait to get back to that weather!

First full visit

See, she does have hair, quite a bit actually!

Today has been a much better day. We found a pizza place close to our apartment, and tomorrow we will wander a little farther and see if we can find the Mcdonalds we saw on the drive in! We go to the orphanage every day at 1 to see the baby. The orphanage staff is very nice, and they take great care of the kids. Its clean and bright and lots of toys around. I haven't seen any other children. They pretty much bring her to us and then we go to a playroom. There are a couple things I want to get checked out quick. She is very spitty, so she needs to be checked for reflux. I could tell from my picture that I had that she has a very flat nasal bridge. Well in real life, its nonexistent, and she sounds like a bulldog when she breathes. I'm sure some airway issues and sleep apnea exist with our angel girl. But she sits, almost by herself. And she can get up on all 4's. Look at her go!