Ok, I can breathe and elaborate!

When I wrote my last post last night I was crying the whole time and trying to just get through it.
Our plane ride from SLC to Chicago was horrible! It was a tiny airplane that had turbulance the whole time. I was actually feeling pretty good in the airport, so I didn't take my valium that my doctor gave me. Well after we took off, and it was so shaky, I took one of my valium and chewed that sucker and swallowed it without any water! I'm going to make sure none of my planes home are that small, just can't do it. I talked to the boys one last time from my phone in Chicago. Then as I sat on the airplane, I bawled my eyes out. I still had two more plane rides to get through, and I was already exhausted and missing my boys. The flight to Germany wasn't bad, I highly recommend Lufthansa if you go out of country. They are super nice, and having the TV in my headrest kept me busy during that long flight! Our flight from Germany to Eastern Europe (tomorrow I can tell you exactly where we are, if you don't already know)I slept the entire time. I didn't even wake up for lunch. When we got here, everything was a whirlwind. We were dropped in our apartment with a phone and nothing else. We felt scared, alone, and exhausted.
If I didn't have the internet in our apartment I really would have lost my mind. One thing that made me absolutely crazy was not being able to pick up the phone and call my boys. I had to email my phone number to my sister. I will skype with the boys tonight, but not having that communication at first is super hard! Plus I needed reasurance from my friends that have been here, done that. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I have to be honest that until a few hours ago, I was being so selfish. I was not even doing what I told my boys they had to remember. Which was that we can sacrifice being away from each other for a few weeks, when Makayla has been alone her whole life. Well I was ready to forget about the whole thing and jump back on a plane home. I wasn't thinking it was worth it. Now I'm getting excited for my SDA appointment tomorrow, and then on to see her!
Its getting better, but I tell you that it was much harder than even I imagined! If you are soon to travel to adopt, please remember that. Everyone that I talk to now that has been here a while is doing great, but they all said they went through the same thing. So don't let it scare you away, just be prepared for massive crying the first couple of nights!
Tomorrow is our SDA appointment, I'll update after that!